You are here

The Importance of Forgiveness

The first thing to remember about forgiveness is that it benefits the one who forgives much more than the one who is forgiven,and that forgiving is a conscious act of will instead of a feeling.  Everyone has been wronged in some way by somebody.  Sometimes the person who has inflicted the offense has done so on purpose, and sometimes it is done unaware with nomalice intended; either way it still hurts.

Please note here that every time the offense is brought to mind, the offender is given power over your thoughts and feelings. They can make you feel sad, or angry, even when they are not present.   This can go on for years if you let it.


Take control.  As a conscious act of your will choose to forgive.  It doesn’t actually matter if the offender is sorry or not; your forgiving them is not contingent upon their remorse for having caused you pain.   Demanding that they be sorry again gives them control.  Don’t expect to feel amicable right away toward someone you forgive, neither should you feel obligated to put yourself back into a place where you are vulnerable to the other person’s actions.  Forgiveness is not contingent on remaining in a hurtful relationship.
If the relationship is an important one for you such as a family member or someone you love, then you might want to consider sharing your feelings with them. If there is not a satisfactory resolution, then chose to forgive anyway.  Remember, forgiveness is a process that you will have to work through.  

 Corrie Ten Boom, a woman who survived a Nazi concentration camp during the Holocaust, said, "Forgiveness is to set a prisoner free, and to realize the prisoner was you." The past cannot be undone, but in choosing to forgive, you are taking control of your future.   Instead of re-playing the offense again and again in your mind, delete the re-play and replace it with, “Everything is forgiven.”  For some time the remembrance may still be painful, but slowly, your choice to prefer forgiveness will make it less painful each time.

Sometimes while performing your duties in the military, you might be forced to take actions that you otherwise would not choose to do. You might blame yourself for events that are beyond your control. War zone stress is magnified when you do not put these events into perspective.                                                    

Oftentimes we make choices that are not in our best interest.Our own actions may harm our loved ones and even ourselves. Sometimes you avoid saying, “I’m sorry” because you feel what you’ve done is so awful that I’m sorry doesn’t cut it. This may  lead to hurtful situations and then the most important person to forgive is you.  By forgiving yourself, you are able to reach out to others and forgive them also.
Adopt an attitude of, “Yes, I made a mistake, but I won’t repeat it”.   Never convince yourself that because you have made mistakes in the past, there is no reason to do better in the future.  You can take hold of your own future.  Forgive and be free.

                                                           Forgiveness        
“Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice.  Be kind and compassionate
to one another, forgiving each other …”


More about forgiveness ...

http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/forgiveness/MH00131


 For immediate crisis counseling:

  Veteran Crisis Hotline 1-800-273-8255

The Life Renewed™ Operation Not Forgotten™ Program and the results of its computer-generated Quality of Life Assessment™ software analyses are not substitutes for professional clinical or medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.  Participants in the program and those reviewing the results associated with it therefore should always consult with a doctor or other health care professional for medical advice or information about diagnosis and treatment.  Neither Life Renewed™ nor any other party involved in creating, producing, or delivering the Operation Not Forgotten™ program shall be liable for any damages, including without limitation, direct, incidental, consequential, indirect, or punitive damages, arising out of failure to consult health care professionals.


Share Share